You Have The Power To Keep Your Inner-Peace – Part 2


rainbow3In part 1 of “You Have The Power To Keep Your Inner-Peace” four key questions used to inquire about stressful uninvestigated thoughts/beliefs were examined.   These are questions author Byron Katie teaches all her clients/students in what she calls “The Work”.   Uninvestigated thinking can send us into an unnecessary state of emotional pain and suffering.   We lose the battle 100% of the time when we argue with “what is”.  In addition to the four questions used to investigate our thoughts there are other mindsets that we can adopt in order to help us sustain our inner-peace and emotional equilibrium.

Byron Katie suggests that if we come to accept without argument or emotion (anger, frustration, confusion…etc.) aspects or habits about a person just as easily as we accept the fact that a  “a dog barks, a cat meows”, this also liberates us from suffering.   Let’s take the following examples:

  • A dog barks, a cat meows and my husband watches too much T.V.
  • A dog barks, a cat meows and my boss does not reward his loyal employees
  • A dog barks, a cat meows and Lisa is impatient
  • A dog barks, a cat meows and Connie is almost always late
  • A dog barks, a cat meows and my co-worker is prejudice
  • A dog barks, a cat meows and my father is stingy

These statements acknowledge a current fact.  If I accept “what is” I keep my emotional and mental equilibrium.  It is not to say that these individuals will have these tendencies forever or maybe they will.  However, if I bombard my mind with “why does he do that”, “why can’t she get here on time”…etc. what I do is create irritation, resentment, frustration, feel powerless…etc.  At an energetic level this creates a low energy frequency which disrupts my “flow” and internal “balance”.  At a spiritual level I foster a feeling of disconnect and a degree of rejection towards this person.

An additional mindset which supports the previous approach is to consider that there are three businesses: mine, others and God’s business (or the Universes).  When I think that someone or something should be different or that an event should not have occurred I’m mentally out of my business.  Who’s business is it that Connie is always late or that my boss does not show appreciation to his employees?  Who’s business is it how my father spends his money?  Who’s business is it when there is an earthquake or flood?

If I make it my business I use up precious energy arguing with reality.  By accepting a fact about someone or a situation I can then move forward and make the appropriate shifts in my life to deal with the reality. For example if Connie is usually late, I can say that I will meet her at an event instead of me also being late because I waited for her.  If my Dad is a penny-pincher I will not count on him to share in the cost of an expense even if I deem it would be appropriate.  If my husband likes watching a lot of T.V. I will choose which programs I want to watch with him and later occupy myself with other interests I enjoy.

I utilized these simple tools with one of my daughters.  I accepted the fact that “a dog barks, a cat meows and my daughter is very moody”.  I don’t ask anymore why she is so moody or why she can’t be more positive.  She is how she is currently.  It’s her business not mine.  And now I feel closer to her because I am not rejecting that aspect about her.

The proper time to get into somebody else’s business is if they ask for your advice or for your input.  Or you can ask them if they would like your input or help.  If they say “no” then you are free to continue with your business.

There is much more to learn about “The Work”.  In these two blogs I did not explore inquiring about personal beliefs directed to ourselves (i.e. “I am not smart enough”, “I am unlovable”, “I always mess things up”…etc.).  This is harder to tackle because there can be so much emotion and rationalization attached to it.

Ultimately I have the power to keep my inner-peace and create an internal “paradise” for myself.  I have come to realize that there is no path or way that is “higher” than another.  We are all on a journey and those that challenge us the most are our greatest teachers because the discomfort can lead to inquiry which holds the gift of personal “freedom”.

“Inquiry is a way to end confusion and to experience internal peace, even in a world of apparent chaos…it leaves you free to live as a kind, fluid, fearless, amused listener, a student of yourself, and a friend who can be trusted not to resent, criticize, or hold a grudge.” – Byron Katie

Another great tool for moving stuck energy and obsessive thinking or emotions about something is to utilize EFT; Emotional Freedom Technique. There is a great Youtube Channel by Brad Yates that teaches you about this tapping and talking through technique (click to go there) Intro to EFT

It’s ALL good.

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