As I look back at many of the choices that I have made through-out my life, I find that the decisions I made that were not fueled by “fear”, but rather by a resolve that felt right, that I “trusted”, were decisions which brought me many benefits. The “path” chosen tended to be smoother, lighter and more fulfilling. Things “flowed”.
On the other hand, decisions based on some “belief” fueled by “fear” had much to be desired. This “path” was not only rocky but “felt” heavy. Much worry would come about and a gut feeling emerged that this was not “the right direction”. I allowed myself to talk myself out of the choice that resonated with my “heart”. So then what? I would back track to an original desire or choice that at the time I had discounted. My fearful mind had overridden my “true” desire. Does this sound familiar?
I began to ask myself what led me to discount my true desires time and time again; like a sort of self-betrayal. I found that deeply rooted in my being was the belief that I needed to conform or make choices others would look upon as “good” or “of value”. Believe it or not there was a time in my life in which I believed I was “worthless”. Unbeknownst to me, I immersed myself in many endeavors, tasks and responsibilities in order to appease this deep rooted belief. Always looking outside of myself did not allow me to look inward and question/challenge this belief.
Many times these seeds are planted by our family system, teachers, schools, religion or the beliefs of society at large. We fall prey to needing to impress by our “actions”, “title”, “position”, “high income”, “material goods” a “certain look”…etc. From childhood we are asked “what do you want to become when you grow up”. We are praised for our great academics, lofty goals and achievements. And so, in a desire to be accepted we “squelch” our true nature and desire in order to fit the image of “successful”. We learn to multitask, take on much more than we could accomplish in one day and we fall exhausted into bed each night. This lifestyle can lead to physical, emotional, mental and/or spiritual dis-ease. And sadder yet, there is a deep “yearning’ to return to what we came to experience and discover; to what we came to do.
It is never too late to come to the realization that we can turn to “our hearts desire”. To the “voice of our soul”. In some cases it may not be easy because of how layered we have made our life with responsibilities and debt. At other times it can be as simple as changing a belief that has bound us tight; kept us roped in. Yet, if we resolve to return to something we sense is our “life path” then in time it can become a reality. No matter how long it takes to get on this path, it is well worth it. We’ve allowed ourselves to be distracted by doing what we thought was expected of us, now it is time to assign and align our thought patterns to our heart’s pattern.
Note: I am not advocating abandoning current responsibilities. We all know when the right time will arise to make this shift we desire.
Either way just remember IT’S ALL GOOD!
** I invite you to share your positive thoughts or insights.
Brilliant insight Lu! I notice the same thing about my life.