When we know what we truly want it becomes very significant to the long-lasting success of our lives, and our relationships in any given moment; as well as remarkable things can happen. Focusing on what you DO WANT instead on what you DON’T WANT opens the door to your highest awareness and creative ideas surface on what to do next and how to do it. Moreover, there is more clarity to your true wants/desires and because of this you can identify quickly if a particular choice or path aligns to these wants. In other words you make great decisions for yourself. You move forward in a direction that serves your purpose. You save yourself heartache, wasted energy, time, and/or money on something that was NOT right for you.
Yet, most people focus on what they don’t want in their lives and due to the time and emotional energy spent dwelling on them, they bring those very things that they don’t want or the essence of what they don’t want into their lives. What you focus on you give life to. If you receive more of what you don’t want it takes you away from your desired path, disrupts your peace of mind and drains your energy. Stop for a moment and feel how each of the following phrases sets in your body. Whether we believe it or not, every thought has an energy frequency which is emitted.
FEEL THE DIFFERENCE
Close your eyes and say “I don’t want, I don’t want”…wait a few seconds. How does this phrase feel? Does it create tightness somewhere in your body? Does it have a “heavy feel”? Do you sense some “fear” behind it? How else did it feel?
Now continuing with your eyes closed say “I want, I want”…wait a few seconds. How does this phrase feel? Does it create less resistance? Does it have a “lighter feel”? Do you sense some “hope” behind it? How else did it feel?
The power of the right type of thinking and the energy/passion behind the “I want” statement brings about remarkable results. It is important to understand that there really does need to be a true heartfelt desire for what you want. This is again what gives it life. If it is just a preference or you have the attitude of “I can take it or leave it” then there is not much momentum behind it. This is okay because not everything is of value or of importance to you. However, focusing your thoughts, actions and reactions on what matters inspires you and in turn inspires others. You achieve significant results!
CLARITY LEADS TO FULFILLING YOUR “WANTS”
Since I began applying my attention on what I truly want it has been life changing; both internally and externally. The times I did not define what I wanted it has been less than satisfactory. As Yogi Berra once stated, ”If you don’t know where you‘re going, you‘ll end up somewhere else.” So as I ended up “somewhere else”, I would need to backtrack and try to undo what I didn’t want in the first place. This gets exhausting! This applies to relationships, friendships, health, career, job, school, big purchases, investments…etc. Basically anything that can dramatically impact your life.
Focusing on what you “don’t want” can effectively make you feel powerless. It does not define what you do want. However, this tends to be our habitual tendency. When you intentionally focus on what you do want, the thoughts of what you didn’t want are gradually washed away. You don’t fight the thoughts of what you don’t want; you overcome them by concentrating on what you do want.
FOCUS WHEEL
A very useful tool to help you focus on what you do want is the use of a FOCUS WHEEL. The following is an example of a Focus Wheel on “creating the perfect job”. Note that you can include God/Source as part of the process or if this is not comfortable to you leave it out. The blank spaces are there for you to complete this Focus Wheel if you like. For example, you can insert how much your perfect job would pay you? To print the following examples open the PDF files. A blank Focus Wheel is also available. Use this tool for any important decision or goal you are planning to embark on (i.e. college, career, marriage, parenthood, business…etc.)
- PDF of New Job Focus Wheel
- PDF of Personal Relationship Focus Wheel
- PDF of Blank Focus Wheel
When we are focused on what we don’t want, that is all we see, and our ideas and decisions are based on what we don’t want. When we know what we do want, we give ourselves the ability to imagine new possibilities and generate ideas on how to be and what to do or say in each moment to make it a reality. We begin to achieve clarity and to receive ideas on what to do next and how to do it to move in a new direction. People, articles, books, opportunities come to our attention which align with what we want.
OWN YOUR LIFE! OWN YOUR HAPPINESS!
I have experienced this type of thinking of focusing on what I do not want to be damaging to my success in career and relationships. In the area of my health. It was effortless for me to focus on what I do want. I took control after making the decision to improve my health and in little time, I began just moving in the direction of achieving that goal . So I am constantly asking myself why I can not seem to do the same in the areas of caree and relationships.
I have come to realize that those areas involve others –outside of myself. I realize there is a strong desire in me to show others how great I am. I realize I can not create someone else’s perception of me. I realize that somewhere in my youth, I thrived on acceptance and praise for being who they thought that I should be instead of realizing that by being geniually me, I am most worthy and valuable.
I was focused on people-pleasing instead of self-pleasing which resulted in life incidents that I did not want. I understand it is imperative to keep before me writings and visuals to keep me on track, and propel me to what I do want.
The first step is to realize what you do want. Write the vision and make it plain.